Wednesday, 12 October 2011

An Ultimate Lifestyle Secret - The Power Of Self Confidence

Movement / Walking / People
Photo By Cuba Gallery

Self confidence is not something that holds me back, in fact I really appreciate the level of confidence I enjoy and feel that I can make the choices and decisions I want without a feeling of concern or over riding fear. That is not to say that I am always successful, but I realize that even by trying I am moving closer to a higher level of confidence.

I did not always have a high level of self confidence. When I was younger, I had a lot of self confidence in my ability to do well in football and track, but my confidence in my ability to deal with life’s challenges was quite low. This was probably caused by a fear of not measuring up to my parent’s expectations and a little bit of social shyness. However, as I got older, I realized that my parents only wanted me to be healthy and to try my best at everything I did. As a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, I had a lot of social interaction with people from all walks of life and I lost most of my shyness. My job also required that I respond to all different kinds of situations. The more success I had, the more my self confidence rose.

Self confidence or confidence in yourself means that you know that you can do whatever task you are faced with. This does not mean that you have to do every task by yourself. It means that the ones you know you can do by yourself you do and the ones where you need help you know how to find it. Confidence is a learned trait, not something you are born with. It is the force which pushes you forward and allows you to find the right path amidst the confusion and chaos of life. Confidence is the necessity you must have to assist you in realizing your dreams and goals.

We all have the power of self confidence within us. Sadly many leave it unused for long periods of time while others use it sparingly like a miser. Forget about past worries and build the power of self confidence within you. Since you can’t change the mistakes of the past, don’t let them spoil the present or dim the future.

The first thing that you must practice is “don't hate yourself” before deciding to practice self confidence. It is very difficult to become self confident if you do not like yourself. Remember, just like everyone else, you were born into this world for a specific reason. Think about the things that you are good at doing. Work at becoming better at them. Don’t worry about the things that you are not very good at. As a very successful person I was talking to recently said, “Why spend your limited time here on earth working on things you are not good at. Instead perfect the things you are good at and hire someone to do the things you are not good at.”

Mediocrity and poor performance are often due to low self confidence but it is not something you have to live with. You can build your self confidence by challenging yourself to take action and do something. Even though you feel as if you lack confidence, it doesn't mean other people can tell. Building good self confidence is a wonderful thing, and it's much easier than you'd imagine. One of the easiest ways of building self confidence is to “take baby steps.” What I mean by this is to set small goals or projects that you have to complete. Each time you do one in the time you have set for yourself, you will build your self confidence. The accumulation of small “victories” will convince your subconscious mind that you can do what you set out to do. It will then convince your conscious mind that you have a lot of capabilities and your self confidence will grow. If you continue to do this over a period of months, you will find that your self confidence becomes greatly improved. With improved self confidence you can take on bigger projects and goals and as these are completed your self confidence will grow by leaps and bounds.

TECHNIQUES FOR SELF CONFIDENCE

So what other techniques are available to anyone wishing to develop more self confidence? It should be no surprise to you when I tell you that the single most influential person on your self confidence is you, or more specifically, your mind. This probably sounds very basic but are you using your own thoughts to reenforce your self confidence and self esteem? Talk positively to yourself all the time. Become your own best friend and supporter. Encourage yourself to do more. Congratulate yourself on every small or large victory. Remember that very few people are successful the first time they try to do something. You didn’t ride a bike the first time you tried. Thomas Edison didn’t invent the light bulb on his first attempt either. It took him more than 10,000 attempts before he made the first successful light bulb and it only lasted a few minutes. The biggest thing to remember is that you are never defeated in doing anything you want to do until you quit. Donald Trump, during a recent interview, stated that he was richer than most people because he failed more times than most. However, in his case, he learned from his mistakes and tried again. Why? Because he was confident that he could do what he wanted to do if he just continued trying. You are no different from Donald Trump. Do what he did. Just keep trying until you succeed. When you do, your self confidence will soar and you will realize that you can do anything you want to as long as you continue trying.

Another technique is to watch other people. When you see someone that stands upright and moves with a sense of purpose watch to see if they give you the impression that they have a lot of confidence. If they do, duplicate the physical characteristics of these confident people and you will start to gain the confidence they display.

One thing that you must ensure that you do not do is listen to people who talk down to you or try to tell you that you cannot do something. Usually these people can’t do these things themselves, so they try to convince others that they can’t do them either. If something like this keeps happening to you, tune these people out and stop associating with them. Your inner confidence needs to be liberated from this constant barrage of negative thoughts and statements from the dream stealers around you. Your limitations are in your mind, not in your reality.

Here are some tips for everyday practice. If you want to develop and build confidence, associate with positive uplifting people. Good people around you will help you build self confidence. If you want to build up your confidence, do something new every day. Each of these small acts will add to your confidence and also make your life more enjoyable. The most sacred thing in life is self confidence because it is the secret of all miracles. When you have confidence in yourself, you arouse everything that is stronger, greater and superior in you. In consequence, the more confidence you have in yourself, the more you will attain and accomplish. A person who knows the power of self confidence walks a path of inner growth and achievement. With self confidence a person of mediocre ability can achieve more in life than those with exceptional talents and little self confidence.

Supreme self confidence is a birth right for every person so isn’t it about time you claimed yours?

7 Steps to Achieving Healthy Self Esteem

The happiest people are those who do not judge others, live in kindness and love themselves.  Do you ever see someone who is perpetually happy and wish you could be like them?  You CAN achieve a healthy self-esteem…it takes time and effort.  Following are seven steps to help you on your way to becoming a happier, healthier YOU.

1.  IDENTIFY
One is not required to live by “I have to” or “I must” – everything we do is a result of a decision…a choice.  Choices made in our younger years and choices made this morning when we woke up.  Everything is a choice:  to obey or disobey; to study or not study; to eat right or not eat right.  When making these choices, we control everything about our lives including our future and our level of self-awareness.  When you see a wise, confident, beautiful person – it’s not luck, it’s choice.  Once you realize and accept this, only then can you begin to become who it is you want to be.  All of us are given gifts…special gifts and talents.  Through self-discovery, we are able to identify these gifts.  If we pay attention to who we are and what makes us happy, we will make the right choices to set our own future.

2.  EVALUATE
Who are you?  Look at yourself and be honest.  Write on a piece of paper the things you like (Pros) and don’t like (Cons) about you.  If you are (and you should be) your own best friend, you should be able to take a look at the Cons and develop a plan to begin moving those negatives over to the positive side.  Likewise, you should take a look at your Pros and develop a plan to make sure those positive attributes remain on the positive side and continue to grow on the inside AND the outside of you.  As you work out a plan, try to find people with like personalities who share your same goals.  These are the very people that will make great friends and help you stay on your set path.

3.  CONFIRM
Talk to yourself!  Still using your list of Pros, begin reinforcing the positive attributes of your personality.  I AM…. “I am successful”, “I am pretty”, “I am fun!”... every positive thought should be repeated often – YOU are WHAT you THINK!!!

4.  FORGIVE
Forgive yourself for screw ups!  They happen to all of us!  We are as imperfect as our bodies!!  Give yourself a break – forgive and move on.  You can’t change the past – but you can live in the present and affect the future!

5.  REST
Treat yourself right.  Be a friend, a good listener, a giver, not a taker – we feel the best about ourselves when we make someone else smile.

6.  BE THANKFUL
Gratitude will get you everywhere.  Give thanks to your creator.  Be humble in all you have.  Pray for those with cold hearts or sad lives.  Really know what you have; all of the gifts, talents, and things you possess.  Here today, gone tomorrow…if you live your life with gratitude and love, peace will always be in your presence.

7.  ACCEPTANCE
Do not accept your fate dictated by others.  Accept only the fate you give yourself.  Through acts of kindness and focused determination, you can achieve all that is good in this life.  When you believe in kindness and in yourself – you can achieve anything.  At that point self-esteem is abundant and so is your life.

Know yourself.  Like yourself.  Live your life like everyone is only in their underwear! Read more here




Brian Tracy on Building Self Confidence



self confidence

BUILD YOUR SELF ESTEEM - GUIDES TO BUILDING YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE

Jumping over the Saguenay river


So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement. Building Self Esteem requires believing in yourself. But like all human behaviours, believing is yourself is a function of your environment and how you relate to what happens to you. Building high self esteem requires that you know what makes you think less of yourself and stay away from it.
Be on the alert, these situations can drown your esteem.

 Negative Work Environment

Be careful when you find yourself in a corporate environment or in a work field where non appreciative people usually get on top.Usually nobody will appreciate your input even when you go overboard and do more than required. You may miss lunch or do overtime, that will not work.  When you get into such situation, do not think you are not important. Do not try pleasing anybody who cares less about your ability. They will refused to be pleased anyway. Stay out of the politics, see them for who they are and work with pride. Appreciate yourself and only get involved in a healthy competition.

Other People’s Behavior

There are many shades of people with varing attitudes. You may be nice, gentle and respectful. However, not everybody is. The earlier your recognise this, the better. There are people who are Bulldozers, gossipmongers, backstabbers, naggers, complainers,… Do not associate with them or take them serious. They dent your confidence with their words and if you associate with them, you will appreciate in their behaviour. Their words may be uncaring and mean. Take them on a face value and refuse to be affected.

Past Experience

Many of us have gone through traumatic experiences. There may be varying degrees like the loss of a lover or a child or even bad relationship experiences from the opposite sex. Trauma may have come in the form of humiliation in front of people you care about or even failure in a project you put so much into building. There is nothing wrong with crying when you experience pain. It is natural after all. However, don’t let the pain lead you into fear such that you detach yourself from your potential. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson. Cry enough. Entertain the pain a while. Stop the fear. Move on.

Negative World View

Have you been in a position where you see your colleagues do so well that their success stops you from trying because you think you cannot make it as far as they have? Well that happened to me. I blew a chance to work for a big company with incredible benefit because the guy who presented before me in an assessment did so well that I said, I cannot beat that. Those words "I cannot beat that" made me shrink and perform less than I was capable. I lost my esteem. I realised that competition is not always healthy for the human spirit. We always have to accept that people will be better than us in something, just as we may be better than them in others. Don't shrink. Find what you are best at and do it everyday. You will increase your self confidence by doing that.
Determination Counts
Our Nature as people, our behaviour and personality is derived from our environmental experiences and genetics. The fad during our childhood, our friends attitudes, our spouses faith all affect how we think and act. Naturally, you will think that people will naturally gravitate towards good company and make good friends or watch good movies so as to build a positive personality. The truth is, we our everyday actions affect our lives in a much older age, when we already have build a negative consciousness with decade long everyday actions.
However, building positive self esteem is a choice. It is a choice that requires deliberate, consistent, conscious actions to attain. If you lack self confidence, then you have a choice to make. Developing your self esteem is not a one day thing as many people preach. It will require consistent positive thinking, risk-taking, and getting support from those who care about you. Stay away from things that makes you fear or think less of yourself. Get a list of your strengths and do what you love everyday.

You can attain high self esteem. But you will need to do that by knowing what makes you think less of yourself and avoid it. You should also know what makes you happy and do it. Finally take some risks and do what you feared to do before.
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