To feel less than or not as good as other people can be a very hurtful
situation. This is so especially when you are an ambitious person and desire to grow in your career or social life. But
our actions, as told by sociologists is a collection of what we have
internalised in the past. To develop self confidence, we have to look back at our
lives and fish out those things we do which makes us
think less of ourselves. If you lack self esteem, fighting it might be the most important thing in your life today. These 4
factors may be good to start with.
1. Low Self Esteem #1 - Trying too much to be like someone else.
Have you ever been in a position when you had to compete with somebody
for a position and after the person put up a great presentation, you began to shrink and say to yourself, I cannot
be that good? Well, it happened to me.
One of the biggest blows to self esteem is to always try to be somebody
else.
Of course, it is good practice to be inspired by people's successes and
aspire to attain the same feet as they have. However, it is prudent to know the difference between taking inspiration
from people and endulging in unhealthy competition with people.
Desiring to be like someone else makes us refuse to recognise that which
makes us unique and heads us on the path to hating ourselves. People who desire to be like other people normally do
not find their unique self and this spirals into low self confidence.
Finding your unique is part of the process of healing your esteem. Start
today. You can talk to friends and loved ones to help you find those things
which you are good at. Spend time doing those things and you will begin to feel
good about yourself.
Accept other peoples successes. Be happy for them. Develop yourself in
what you are good at and you will not have to shrink when you see others go ahead.
2. Low self esteem#2 - Negative thinking.
Negative thinking is
known to fueled by
a. Watching negative movies
b. Listening to depressing songs which dims your mood and drains your self esteem.
c. Always been conscious of negative things or been excessively
pessimistic and avoid it.
3. Low Self Esteem#3 - Thinking you are not good enough?
One of the major things that affect our self esteem is our childhood
experiences.Your parents always have a significant effect on what you become. What they said to you,
whether they were adequately able to provide for your childhood desires, or whether they had a strong loving relationship all
affects our esteem. If you lived in a home where your parents were always fighting, you most likely were ashamed of
them. And even so ashamed of yourself. Chances are that you did not bring friends over mostly and you wished your parents were like
others'. This may have been the beginning of your
low self esteem; when you lose the pride associated with where you come
from.
You may not have recovered since then. However, there is good news.
Since the time you become an adult, your life is what you make of it. Refuse to think little and low of yourself. Tell yourself,
you will be a great person. Set goals and go after them. With every achievement, you will feel good about yourself and you
will realise that you are as capable as others.
This will require discipline and consistently taking action on your
goals to overcome. Don't take it lightly.
4. Low Self Esteem#3 - Fear
Sometimes, we find ourselves held back by fear of failure, fear of pain,
fear of embarrassment. This may have been resulted from experiences we had at one point or another. We lose our confidence
to go through life when fear takes over. Sometimes, we develop fear out
of situations that caused us pain or embarrassment. However, to be successful,
you need to learn to go past fear and pursue your life with confidence. Most extreme cases of fear will require medical consultation. However,
if your fear is based on experience, then I hope this helps:
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in
which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to
yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that
comes along.'
You must do the thing you think you cannot do. "
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Frank Herbert
Are you determined to conquer the low self esteem? Then Let us begin.
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